The Truth: Who I Am
What makes you different from everyone else on this earth? Think about it for a second, what is the one thing that sets you apart from the rest. If I were to walk up to you and say I will give you the desires of your heart if you tell or can show me the thing that makes you unique, what would it be? I've been blogging, seriously, for a little over two weeks at the time of this writing and I'm having difficulty finding what it is that sets me apart from every one else in the blogging game. I have readers in different parts of the world, some whom I've never met and wouldn't know if they were sitting in my apartment in Park Slope Brooklyn, NY watching NFL games with me on a Sunday afternoon. Yet for some reason, they/you read this blog... and I'm not sure why. Don't get me wrong I am grateful that you do take the time to read it. I'm curious to know what it is that brings you back each day. I have been reading books lately that are supposed to help one, as one of my college acting teachers used to say, "peel the onion" or get to the truth. That's not just any truth but YOUR truth. As an artist, even as a 9-5er or garbage man, security guard, window washer, waitress, hooker, or thief, knowing your truth can aid you in getting to where you truly want to be in life.
I started writing this blog to share myself with the world and get you all to see what life is like on a daily basis for a working actor living in NYC. I had that goal, but I'm not sure if I've really talked about what it is like to be a working actor... living in NYC. Instead, I've been giving you ways to stay positive through tough times or examples of how life's lessons are applicable in both my world and yours. But I haven't really talked about what it is to be a working artist... living in NYC. I haven't introduced myself to you or allowed you to really get to know me... yet you keep coming back to read this blog.
First off, let me tell you some things about myself:
I'm an only child to both of my biological parents, Saundra and Douglas.
I have 3 siblings who are my step siblings but I consider them to be my brothers and sister.
I have a short fuse, meaning I can be slightly temperamental from time to time but I listen to music and breathe to keep my cool.
I am proud to be from Kentucky.
I am an artist because I can't stand doing anything else and find that the times I feel most complete and fulfilled are when I'm working... as an artist.
I am slightly afraid of succeeding... in the eyes of others. There, I said it! I am a little afraid of succeeding at doing the one thing that I feel is my reason for being placed on this earth.
Why am I afraid to succeed... in the eyes of others... at doing what I do best?
Maybe the reason is that I feel that I would be lonely in a crowded room. There would be so many smiling faces and hands to shake which might turn into hands in my pocket, that I would lose my cool and not be able to trust (which I currently have a hard time doing), causing me to go mad. I'd be entertainment and no longer someone people would really want to know. I wouldn't have any privacy! I wouldn't be able to shop in Thrift Stores. Maybe I'm just afraid of the unknown! Maybe I would stop doing things that bring me joy and fulfillment so that I could live up to the standards of others and gain their praise.
All of these thoughts go through my head when I question myself regarding success. I know that I'm talented and good enough to succeed at the highest level. When I made the choice to walk this path back in 1997 during my drama class at Bourbon County High School in Paris, KY, I didn't make the choice so that I could be rich and famous. I made the choice because nothing else, not girls, not money, not material things, not trips, not food, drugs, or alcohol could give me the high that creating gave me. That, is to this very moment 100% true. The thing that completes me excites and scares me the most! Death doesn't scare me because I know that it is inevitable. It is guaranteed. Nothing in the life of an artist is guaranteed other than the gift of the present moment. That is all I need: the gift of the present. Now, I can be as successful as I want to be and true success, to me, is on my terms. I want success that is like a pot of homemade chili on a cold winter's day: slow, steady and fulfilling.
That's my truth for the day.
I started writing this blog to share myself with the world and get you all to see what life is like on a daily basis for a working actor living in NYC. I had that goal, but I'm not sure if I've really talked about what it is like to be a working actor... living in NYC. Instead, I've been giving you ways to stay positive through tough times or examples of how life's lessons are applicable in both my world and yours. But I haven't really talked about what it is to be a working artist... living in NYC. I haven't introduced myself to you or allowed you to really get to know me... yet you keep coming back to read this blog.
First off, let me tell you some things about myself:
I'm an only child to both of my biological parents, Saundra and Douglas.
I have 3 siblings who are my step siblings but I consider them to be my brothers and sister.
I have a short fuse, meaning I can be slightly temperamental from time to time but I listen to music and breathe to keep my cool.
I am proud to be from Kentucky.
I am an artist because I can't stand doing anything else and find that the times I feel most complete and fulfilled are when I'm working... as an artist.
I am slightly afraid of succeeding... in the eyes of others. There, I said it! I am a little afraid of succeeding at doing the one thing that I feel is my reason for being placed on this earth.
Why am I afraid to succeed... in the eyes of others... at doing what I do best?
Maybe the reason is that I feel that I would be lonely in a crowded room. There would be so many smiling faces and hands to shake which might turn into hands in my pocket, that I would lose my cool and not be able to trust (which I currently have a hard time doing), causing me to go mad. I'd be entertainment and no longer someone people would really want to know. I wouldn't have any privacy! I wouldn't be able to shop in Thrift Stores. Maybe I'm just afraid of the unknown! Maybe I would stop doing things that bring me joy and fulfillment so that I could live up to the standards of others and gain their praise.
All of these thoughts go through my head when I question myself regarding success. I know that I'm talented and good enough to succeed at the highest level. When I made the choice to walk this path back in 1997 during my drama class at Bourbon County High School in Paris, KY, I didn't make the choice so that I could be rich and famous. I made the choice because nothing else, not girls, not money, not material things, not trips, not food, drugs, or alcohol could give me the high that creating gave me. That, is to this very moment 100% true. The thing that completes me excites and scares me the most! Death doesn't scare me because I know that it is inevitable. It is guaranteed. Nothing in the life of an artist is guaranteed other than the gift of the present moment. That is all I need: the gift of the present. Now, I can be as successful as I want to be and true success, to me, is on my terms. I want success that is like a pot of homemade chili on a cold winter's day: slow, steady and fulfilling.
That's my truth for the day.
I write and maintain a blog which I have entitled “Accordingtothebook” and I’d like to invite you to follow it. I’m a follower.
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